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Sunday, September 29, 2013

Expectations

The biggest rule that mouse is expected to follow is to simply "Obey" Daddy. It's kinda simple and dare mouse suggest elegant? One rule. As we've begun this new part or phase or journey, he has expectations that go beyond the simple rule to "Obey."

It seems there is only one rule and many expectations. And he's not unreasonable about them either. He knows that we're parents and kids get sick or have their little meltdowns...and he's fine with something being put off. He doesn't want mouse to ignore them because he's given her a list of duties to perform. There are things however, he does not want put off and can be done even if a child is ill or having a melt down. Laundry is an example. Our machine isn't the newest or fanciest. It works fine and cleans the clothes. But it takes anywhere from 50-70 minutes to wash (or even longer depending on the cycle) and a depending on the load, 65-70 minutes to dry. So one or two loads a day he finds reasonable. Multiply that by the typical 12-15 loads a week mouse does...

It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure it out. If she skips too many days the laundry becomes overwhelming. Other tasks like the cabinets, well mouse isn't likely to let that happen again. Actually feels rather bad that she did let it get so bad. Another expectation is to never leave the home without a detailed shopping list. Since mouse cooks like 90% of the time, he said mouse should know what we need.

He's only expecting two trips maximum per week to the grocery store and mouse must make a list and a budget. He's never complained on what mouse spends. What he does complain about is how much food is sometimes tossed out -- that's what he wants to avoid.  

Which no doubt will probably lead to more punishments corrections.

His expectations aren't unreasonable, if anything they're very reasonable and on more than a few levels mouse gets this.  Still it doesn't stop her from feeling like...crap.  Knowing they're reasonable doesn't stop mouse from struggling with them.  Or maybe it's just against him?

Maybe Master will have mouse type them all out on here under the "rules" tab.  Right now, they're in the handwritten journal mouse keeps.  He's been requiring that more lately, writing.  Pen to paper.  He said mouse's handwriting, for a woman, is deplorable.  So he has her writing out the expectations.

Master's expectations are organized (of course -- and mouse really isn't mocking this)  in different areas...like General, Sexual, Personal Grooming, Household, Mental and Social.  He's also added a few new protocols for mouse to follow.  None of these things are really all that new (well, some are), but they're areas where mouse has gotten more than a little sloppy about.  Master is quick to point out they're not failures on mouse -- he allowed it and admits that's on him.  But now it's time for all that to change.  Master wants mouse to meet his expectations.  On some levels mouse needs him to do that.  There's no point in having any expectations when they're not enforced or even recognized.

In many ways, this is the same old song and dance many submissive or Master/slave relationships fall into.  The slave (in this case mouse) requires something she can't effectively express from her Master.  The feeling of being contained.  Things became too lax in our relationship.  Maybe we both took it for granted?  And mouse should feel grateful he's pulling the chain, so to speak, and reeling mouse in a little.  It feels like a lot.  It doesn't stop mouse from struggling and even hating him for it a little.

Hate is such a strong word....Dislike might be better.  

10 comments:

  1. Someone pretty smart told me once, "I don't care if you hate me, it just means I'm making you feel." Can you guess who? Does it help that getting reeled in does make you feel off balance, vulnerable, and angry for most of us at any given time? Then the peace comes when we are done fighting it and give in. Just like those darned magic erasers. That post made me look around the house and groan. Heh. It could always be better.
    i wanted to say the other day that remember he waited for you and has backed off before when he thought it was unhealthy for you. Trust in that. You can have a Daddy and a Master in the same person, just maybe not at the same time. If he didn't think you could do it, i don't think he'd be demanding it. In a sense, it is a compliment to you and your growth into being his that he is stepping it up even though it doesn't feel like it right now. Hugs to you...jade
    www.jadescastle.wordpress.com

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    Replies
    1. You're so right jade. Everything you wrote is true, and it's what mouse really needed to hear.

      Thank you so much!

      Hugs,
      mouse

      Delete
  2. Sometimes change is good...to be forced to look at yourself and be told..and shown what you need to change and what you need to improve on. It frankly is a whole lot better than waiting a long time then looking back when it gets too hard to change old habits and it gets to a point where it may even put a strain in the dynamic. i think that mouse can do it. Like jade says, He's stepping it up now, in something he wouldn't have done at a previous time because He knew it wouldn't have been beneficial for you.
    Feeling the change may make you feel off, but it'll be good for you when you realize His intentions for doing so later on...
    Good luck,
    -ash

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    Replies
    1. Ash,

      Thanks and yes, while its a hard on mouse, it's needed for us and our continued growth maybe as a couple.

      Hugs,
      mouse

      Delete
  3. Ahh I feel like I am reading a chronicle of Daddy's and my life at the moment, not surprising as you mention the song and dance of so many Master/slave dynamics. I hope you find your equilibrium again in your tightened chains xx

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    Replies
    1. It's true isn't it Ava! In some ways it's gotten a bit easier...

      Thanks for the encouragement!

      Hugs,
      mouse

      Delete
  4. mouse,

    I would rather dislike something that is commanded of me than feel indifference. To me, his pulling the chain shows you are loved. That is a very good thing.

    Hug,
    joey

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    Replies
    1. Gosh yes Joey! You're totally right in that!

      Hugs,
      mouse

      Delete
  5. I think that sometimes the fact that the expectations are reasonable makes it harder, because it increases your feeling like a doof that you haven't apparently haven't met those very reasonable expectations so far.
    Then you feel defensive, then you turn it around....

    or so I'm told, anyhow.

    *ahem*

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes!!! Omg yes! 1000x

      *shoulder bump*
      <3
      mouse

      Delete

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