There are times when mouse feels the need to justify to practical strangers how we live. Even on the blog -- we're not talking negative comments but comments made innocently about how they're happy their Dom isn't like that. Some have mentioned (not recently) to mouse privately they couldn't handle such a controlling Master. In the past some have even questioned if it's healthy to be so dependent.
Out in the world, people project their own emotions onto others, without even thinking about it. Sometimes mouse will watch people and imagine who's submissive, who's Dom -- who's on a first date or who's breaking up or having an affair. Now, she keeps those thoughts to herself and doesn't go up to strangers telling them they're doing something wrong or she hopes they last....whatever!
Last night, Daddy took mouse out for dinner. Alone just the two of us. Does anyone know how rare that is? Seriously, mouse even shaved her legs! Yes, she's a slave -- but she's also a mom of a busy toddler who doesn't get five minutes alone to shave her legs properly. Fine! There mouse admits she doesn't always shave her legs...quick someone call the lifestyle police!
So we went our, mouse had her nails and toes done. We already established that she shaved her legs. Daddy ramped mouse up into delicious headspace. He led her to his car, opened her door, helped her inside, put on her seatbelt, lifted her dress....hands went up her thigh....legs parted, mouse was panting....
Feeling swimmy and mentally staring at Daddy....totally not his face...mouse was in full on slave mode. Blocks from our home Daddy stopped the car and spanked her too. It made mouse so hot she nearly orgasmed. Then he got her back into the car, adjusted her seatbelt, lifted her dress...his touch sent mouse....he got her just near the edge....
Back in the car...mouse was so happy. Quiet, her mind wasn't clicking off about the baby. No worries at all entered her mind.
At the restaurant Daddy had his hand on the small of mouse's back. The server learned quickly mouse didn't speak. Daddy ordered two glasses of wine, and an appetizer. Daddy won't be rushed into ordering the meal. Once the wine and appetizer arrived, he had settled on an entree. While he spoke to the server, mouse arranged a portion of the appetizer on the plate provided and placed it in front of Daddy.
He took a bite, said was fair and offered a bite to mouse, which he fed her and it made her feel sexy. Restaurant portions are usually too large, So Daddy ordered a large dinner salad and entree and he fed mouse. It felt so very intimate and lovely. After he ordered dessert a rich, decadent chocolate mousse and coffee for himself (mouse cannot drink coffee in the evenings). He took a small bite of the mousse and fed the rest to mouse.
He's soooo lucky he fed it to her, because she would have certainly humiliated him had she fed herself! Can you image something sooo wonderful you want to lick the bowl? Or at the very least use your finger to scoop the sides...ok only mouse thinks that way.
In any event, mouse asked permission to use the ladies room after Daddy paid the check. He walked her the ladies room. No he didn't follow her inside, he waited outside like a gentleman. While in there, mouse heard the door open, paying no attention tho she just finished, flushed and left. Two women were standing by the sink, and mouse assumed they were waiting to use the bathroom. So mouse just went about washing her hands, the women were nudging each other...it was weird, but mouse just went about washing and drying her hands.
Then it happened, a woman approached mouse telling her she was being abused just as mouse was digging through her bag to get her lipstick.
The woman said she felt mouse's dinner companion was a classic abuser. The way he controlled her food, what she drank -- he didn't let her order for herself! Oh the inhumanity of it all! Oh my fucking god he walked her to the bathroom -- that's just wrong!
The delicious headspace was deflated like a balloon.
Surprisingly mouse didn't cry or even respond. Or acknowledge them in anyway. But she was pissed off. Why can't people just mind their own fucking business? It's not like he made her take her tits out or drag her around on a dog leash or make her eat out of a bowl. He didn't say shaddup bitch...He didn't say...don't look at my woman...or grab her crotch and say that it belongs to him or that's where his babies come from.
He didn't hit her or even raise his voice. Daddy was polite. He's always a gentleman. Why is perfectly fine for a women to openly bash her husband, call him stupid and that's fine? But Daddy can't feed mouse?! That's making her subjugated and requires rescue?
What's worse, why does mouse need to justify herself?
All the way home mouse was sullen. Daddy knew something had happened, but didn't ask until we were in the car. He said it must have been distressing. Now mouse was starting to break down a little her anger she wanted so much to hold onto was ebbing away. Why did this make her want to give him more control?? To show them that she liked it so much...or to somehow prove it to herself that her trust is genuine.
When we got home, mouse sat down and wrote out every account she could think of...email, blog...social networking, game and anything else she could think of...and added the passwords. Including the main password for her iPad. Then she handed the list to Daddy and asked him to lock her out of everything listed. He could change all the passwords. If she needed to wish someone a happy birthday, she would have to ask his permission and he could log her in. Blogging would be the same. He could simply log mouse into our blog....
Daddy said we'd talk about in a few days when mouse had a chance to really think about it.
So far she hasn't changed her mind.