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Thursday, November 7, 2013

The Opposite of feeling Balanced

Right now, mouse is so tired she can't think of the word, unbalanced? Imbalanced?  Not sure and don't care enough to look them up.  Honestly mouse is in a bitchy mood the past few days, with the whole universe it seems conspiring against her to get anything accomplished.  Little tasks take forever. The time changed too, darkness falls so early now.  

We have lots of hard wooden floors in our home, sometimes in the still of the night it sounds curiously like someone is walking the floors.  It's just the wood contracting with the heat or coolness of the house but it sounds erie.  We have an alarm -- it's armed all the time when Daddy's away.   

We've talked several times while he's been away -- nothing sexy or remotely thrilling because of the time difference -- he's like three hours in the future and mouse feels stuck in his past.  He calls in the morning to say hello, then text messages throughout the day and he'll try to call again at dinner time.  

Its easier during the day because mouse can just pretend he's at work -- mentally lying to herself but at the same lost in thoughts of him.  Sometimes it's jarring to remember that he's away.  Nighttime of course is by far the hardest time of struggle for mouse.   The other day mouse stood in closet for the longest time staring at the corset, debating mentally if she should bother putting it on.  It's not like he'd know if she did or not.  He didn't even ask about it.  

Is it still considered breaking a rule if no one is around to see the rule being broken?  

Of course in the end, she put on the corset, don't need to invite that kind of trouble but it was a thought for more than a minute. We'll call it a long hesitation that certainly would have resulted in demerits had he been here.   Well, it might have anyway because mouse was honest about it to him.  In a text message later mouse wrote that she was strongly considering saying screw it to the corset.  He asked what she decided and mouse replied to him that she was in fact wearing it.  He replied with good girl.

Just keep counting down the days until he returns.  

11 comments:

  1. So sorry mouse. Sincerely hoping the rest of the time goes quickly.

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  2. Mouse,

    I'm without any words to share with you in hopes they might lift you up. However, I have a mess of happy thoughts I will happily send out into the universe. Hopefully, some will land on you sometime today.

    ((HUGS))

    I will say that today's writing is similar to your early days with Omega when he would travel. I've been reading for months now, but recently decided to start at your beginning. Seems kind of stalkerish to admit it, but I find your journey through your past and to the present quite captivating.

    Would it maybe help to remember how fearful you were when Omega first started "trapping" his mouse and working through the damage of your past? Look how much stronger and safer you feel today when compared to back then....?

    You are an inspiration to this newbie sub - even when you're in a pissy mood. :-)

    How many more days do you have left to count?

    ReplyDelete
  3. Mouse,

    I'm without any words to share with you in hopes they might lift you up. However, I have a mess of happy thoughts I will happily send out into the universe. Hopefully, some will land on you sometime today.

    ((HUGS))

    I will say that today's writing is similar to your early days with Omega when he would travel. I've been reading for months now, but recently decided to start at your beginning. Seems kind of stalkerish to admit it, but I find your journey through your past and to the present quite captivating.

    Would it maybe help to remember how fearful you were when Omega first started "trapping" his mouse and working through the damage of your past? Look how much stronger and safer you feel today when compared to back then.

    You are an inspiration to this newbie sub - even when you're in a pissy mood. :-)

    How many more days do you have left to count?

    ReplyDelete
  4. hoping the time moves fast for you mouse, why does it always seem to move slower when its darker evenings?..or is that just me!

    its funny that concept of is it breaking a rule if no one is around to see it......unfortunatley its a yes here, im assuming the same for you as well...but

    what i do enjoy when he is away (and i know its silly and trivial) is having one night where me and the kids have microwave or any ready made meal...coz the bossman really doesnt approve of that....its not technically breaking a rule...um im pretty sure its not lol

    Enjoy catching up with some good books, movies, tv in the evenings, have a friend around...i know its not going to avoid the pangs of missing Omega but keeping oneself occupied is i find helpful.
    x

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  5. Dearest mouse,
    I'm sorry I didn't check in sooner. I read today's post(Friday) and saw there was no room for comments so I'll just say a little bit here. kinda wondered if Omega would mention your lack of posts this week, but I get it. when H used to travel, especially internationally(mostly to Asia) I just hated it. I knew it was good for his career(this was ages ago) and so I never felt like I could complain. I missed him so. the girls were so little then, everything seemed harder, even tho it probably wasn't.
    sorry for the babbling my dear, but I've been thinking of you this week and hoping you're plugging along.
    nights were the hardest for me too...kinda afraid of the dark and sleeping alone meant terrible sleep.
    the good news? I know Omega misses you too(and the family of course). and he's probably sleeping just as poorly. oh, I guess that's not really good news, lol....but H would always come home looking just as haggard as I'd look and feel.
    made me realise that being apart, sucked for us both.
    you're in my thoughts mouse. I hope Omega's work finishs up quickly.
    xo
    mg

    (sorry for babbling, and Omega, maybe just pass this note along to mouse without publishing? of course, up to you, thank you)

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  6. I understand. The loneliness, the longing, the need. I hope he is home to you soon.

    Hugs, Sue

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  7. just sending hugs. I HATE HATE HATE husband being away, so I can sympathise. Hope it's not long now xxx

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  8. I only feel like I'm half living when my husband is away.

    Hope he's home to you very soon.

    hugs,
    aurora

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  9. In a strange way it brings me comfort to see you coping even the way you are with his absence. Seeing that though it is very hard for you, you are managing. My sir will be away from January 27- early April and im scared to death of being without him for so long. Reading your recent posts it makes feel like its a little bit possible to stay....functioning? During the coming time

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