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Monday, April 7, 2014

Her Mind is Tiffany-twisted

Yes, mouse has been trying to think of ways to feel more submissive. Isn't that a silly thought? Really! No wonder mouse came up blank. Daddy has control over pretty much everything mouse does. He's even changed the lock code on the iPad so now mouse must recieve permission before using it. It's downright silly to think there's room for anymore control.

Still there was an emotional drift from our connection, both of us were kind of just moving along, maintaining what was viewed as not broken. The return to daily maintenance had taken mouse kind of aback. But it proved that we had drifted. The weekend without the kids proved it and settled it in mouse's head.

Really the issue wasn't "what" she was doing or "how," it was the "why" in it all that really was forgotten. That answer is really simple, because Daddy wants it that way. Rediscovering the pleasure in doing little things for him -- that are really for him and not really for mouse. Like picking up a bouquet of flowers at the market, justifying it in mouse's head it's for him...really that's for herself because she likes them. There's nothing wrong with that, but adding that to her 5 things she's supposed to be doing for him isn't honest.

In an ongoing effort to keep mouse honest about this, she's made her own rules for them. They can't be things she does with any regularity. Like oral service, warming his towel, placing his shaving things or most cooking. But if she prepares something solely with him in mind it might fly once.

The whole thing has been eye opening for mouse, most days she manages really one or two that are really about him. That's ok if they're truly only for him. It's not done so that he'd notice, this is really always been for mouse.

Gosh doesn't that sound odd? The things are little things to remind her of how special he is. How important he is to all of us. It's a small way of saying thank you that doesn't just include getting the brand of turkey he likes or making sure he's got beer on warm weekends or washing his socks. Those are things mouse wouid do anyway for him.

When mouse thinks of something extra special to do for him, it strengthens her connection to him and makes her feel tethered.

Yesterday mouse did manage a couple things for him, she cleaned his golf clubs and took his car to be washed so he wouldn't have to. He noticed the car but the clubs he might or might not notice. It ddin't matter since the whole time she tihought of him. In the evening he took us all out to dinner and mouse was able to dote a little on Daddy. That was nice.


  1. i love your practice of doing little extra things for Daddy to show your love and care - my instincts lead that way too and it's one of the things that led me to TTWD.

    and now I have Hotel California stuck in my head! (no bad thing)

  2. Love this post. It's making me think. My favorite part is, "When mouse thinks of something extra special to do for him, it strengthens her connection to him and makes her feel tethered."
    Great post. Thanks for sharing.

  3. I do wander if a lot of this is complacency mouse? i find that its so easy to just drift along, taking it all for granted and thats when perhaps things start to slip.

    i may well have to take a leaf out of your book, reference doing the extra little things, i admit since i gave up work i have been coasting.



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