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Tuesday, September 2, 2014

Retooling mouse

Our time away began with a quick start, Sir returned to daily maintenance and also brought back the idea of daily enemas. Punishments were also given more or less at the time of occurrence unless he felt it was best to wait. Other things very subltle were included, like serving him coffee in a cup with saucer, preparing it the way he liked. Iced tea served in a tall glass with a bit of lemon. Meals prepared and mostly served family style, which encouraged lingering. He banished shoes, making mouse leave them outside the back door.

He found alternative uses for fishing line, hooks and clothesline pegs that tormented mouse endlessly. But the real main focus was on service. There were frequent picnics, long walks, and plenty of displays of public submission. Nothing in your face but appeared natural. Like having mouse kneel on the blanket as we picnicked. Nobody took any notice -- like at all because you know mouse was looking for any sign of disapproval. Eventually, somewhere after the first few weeks mouse stopped looking to others and only to Sir.

That was when the shift in mouse became really obvious (if only to her), when she really began to embrace her emotions, a sense of peace, pleasure in service or maybe feeling useful, came over her. Domestic duties like cooking, cleaning became a pleasure. The big shift occurred after a month passed, that's when mindfulness really kicked in with so much improved focus from mouse it was cathartic.

Shaking away the cares or worries about day to day life and feeling comfortable again in the bubble of submission. Rediscovering that the world will indeed continue spinning, regardless if mouse pays attention to it or not. Understanding that it doesn't make her stupid or "less than" not to be so well-informed about the current events. It's trusting Sir that if there is something she needs to know about -- he will tell her about it -- otherwise she adapted to quell the nosiness to know everything.

By far the most difficult time during the summer was when Sir departed, leaving mouse somewhat adrift. His only command was for mouse to shut off her cellphone and not turn it on. Instead she was to trust that on Friday evening he would return. If something happened, he would send word.

He scheduled himself unavailable on Mondays so we effectively only had three days apart. Friday evening he returned just as he promised and we worked out the schedule for mouse to pick him up. The weekends belonged to us -- where again mouse was completely free to dote on him. Keeping herself mentally occupied during those days was never difficult but being out of touch was another issue. So many nights mouse was completely tempted to drive into town to call him. That never changed.

When we returned home, instead or falling back into old habits we kept it up. Sir had the housekeeper do a few pet projects of his too while we were all away. All the coffee mugs were gone from the house and cups and saucers now replaced them. The pantry was set up differently and junk foods banished. Including the Milano cookies mouse had hidden that Sir later confessed he ate. He wants mouse to focus more on her cooking skills. He doesn't object to an occasional treat, but would prefer that mouse learn to make something like it. A compelling idea.

Returning to the world seemed daunting at first, again the whole what would the neighbors think resurfaced for a brief moment and put to rest once and for all when we went out to dinner one evening. We enjoyed a very intimate evening over candlelight and not a single person took any notice to us at all.

This scenario was replayed and reinforced repeatedly regardless of where we went, what we did or who was around us. Guess the lesson for mouse was to follow her leader! One lovely evening Sir was reading to mouse a bit of poetry as she was returning from the deep space feelings after blissful play....The words expressed mouse's deepest desire and wish...
How happy is the blameless vestal's lot!
The world forgetting, by the world forgot.
Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind!
Each pray'r accepted, and each wish resign'd;
---- Alexander Pope, "Eloisa to Abelard"

32 comments:

  1. Oh mouse, it is so good to read your thoughts again!

    It sounds like you had an absolutely lovely summer.

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    Replies
    1. Thank you! It was a lovely summer. But it's great to be home and back to blogging...

      Much more to come.

      <3
      mouse

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  2. Oh its lovely to see a post from you mouse.

    You sound all refreshed.

    x

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  3. Your post begins with a beautiful picture, ends with a great poem and in between was wonderful too. Glad you had a good summer, welcome back.

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    1. Thanks for the welcome back...seriously it felt soooo weird not journaling. Did a lot of writing,with pen and paper...totally not the same though

      Hugs,
      mouse

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  4. Glad to see you, mouse! Sounds like a wonderful summer.

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  5. Welcome back, Mouse :)
    It sounds like the summer was restorative and refreshing. It made me smile to read that you got to the point of embracing the bubble of submission without worrying what others thought.

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    Replies
    1. It was hugely important lesson for mouse to learn. Something that she won't forget too.

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  6. Welcome back!!! I'm so pleased that your summer has had a fabulous impact on you!

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    Replies
    1. Thanks! The summer was wonderful.

      Hugs,
      mouse

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  7. Welcome back, what a wonderful painting of your summer, both the hard parts and the good ones.

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    Replies
    1. There are a few more posts mouse has in mind. :).

      Thanks

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  8. Welcome back!!! So glad it was everything you needed and more :)

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    Replies
    1. There will be a couple future posts about the more..

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  9. missed you mouse. it's good to have you back. :)
    hugs,
    mg

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  10. I am so glad to have your voice again. And, I will admit that I am a bit envious of the closeness and connection that you have achieved this summer. How very lovely. Congratulations!

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    1. Our dear friend,

      You're sweet, often mouse is a bit envious of your wisdom.

      Hugs,
      mouse

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  11. Mindfulness... What a gift! And a discipline. Glad to have you back after your wonderful summer.

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    1. Even though Sir worked so hard on making mouse feel comfortable in her submission; is it wrong to say the real big thing is the mindfulness?

      Hugs,
      mouse

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  12. Welcome back, mouse! You seem so calm and content - what a blessing!

    Ash

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  13. I"m so glad you are back. How wonderful your summer sounds. Personally, I like the idea of cups & saucers :) I'm so happy for you sweety, at the renewed closeness you and O have found.

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    Replies
    1. Oh monkey...you have no idea. Really we hadn't realized how far we drifted.

      Hugs,
      mouse

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  14. Will Sir ever be Daddy again?

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    Replies
    1. For now he's Sir, but really Daddy is never far away.

      :)

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  15. I don't usually comment... but I am so glad you are back. I missed your thoughts. They usually help me understand my own thoughts, lol

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  16. Welcome back, Mouse! It's so good to be reading your posts again :)

    Hugs,
    Sadie

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