Good Morning, it's bitter cold outside today and we woke to a powdered sugar dusting of snow. Somehow, as mouse looked through the day's agenda she thought about last night and her demerits. At times mouse will become annoyed with the idea and wishes he'd do away with it.
Daddy doesn't punish mouse without careful considerations, this became very clear last evening in his study when Daddy went through some of the more notable demerits mouse had been awarded. He asked questions, which are more or less rote, "Do you understand why, mouse" comes up frequently. He doesn't do this because mouse is incapable of comprehending him, Daddy does it so he understands. He wants to be sure mouse isn't overwhelmed or requires extra help or assistance. For this reason the discussion part can go on longer than the punishment.
He needs to know (probably as much as mouse) the demerits are because she planned poorly. Lately, they've had more to do with her attitude, being snappish or hyper sensitive to what she feels are criticisms. Not only with him, but others as well. This all ties into the poor planning part. At times mouse will put off doing something, because she doesn't want to and then something else goes wrong or something unplanned happens and there's a freak out. But had mouse stuck to what she should be doing there wouldn't be a freakout. This will all come out during the discussion portion -- unless mouse knows there are no valid reasons for her behavior.
It's a good thing Daddy does this, because there have been times when mouse was really making herself crazy trying to stay on top of everything and failing miserably. When he looked at what was happening he realized this and made adjustments. It helped mouse profoundly. Kneeling before him in the study, with mouse resting her head against his leg she realized its not about being punished. It's more about him holding himself and mouse accountable.
We don't need punishments to be an excuse to play -- this is really punishment for mouse. Play, is fun (especially when Daddy pretends to punish mouse), but punishments or even lighter corrections aren't. If he didn't really care about how mouse sometimes speaks to him, why bother with a punishment? It matters to him and that should be reason enough for mouse.
Lately, Daddy has had mouse write out some of her expectations as part of her punishment, and at first mouse thought it to be busy work, or a way to keep mouse occupied. Last night it occurred to mouse that it does remind her of why we have them to begin with. They didn't fall from the sky but came from Daddy, so that mouse will better understand her purpose with him.