Bliss

Still thinking about that whole One Word thing of Friday night. One word to sum up the weekend: bliss. Saturday for some reason, I woke hideously early and drank too much coffee but I did post about Friday night. Omega was still sleeping when I finally returned upstairs, and watched him sleep. The dog looked at me a couple of times, as if to say that I'm crazy. Eventually Omega stirred and opened an eye. He reached for me and pulled me close. We talked about the day; he always has a schedule, even on days when he shouldn't. I don't mind that, it's part of him. It was a quiet day, we did some things around the house. Lucy and Schroeder called saying the movie was playing around 9:20 that evening so we had a long wait. We all decided to meet up at an area gastro-pub and then go to the show. We agreed I would order the tickets online for everyone.

We made good use of our time before meeting them for dinner. We played a little nothing harsh though that would impede my ability to sit for a couple hours. Normally, Omega enjoys watching me squirm uncomfortably, he likes it when I shift in my seat, trying to find a spot that doesn't hurt. My quiet flush of embarrassment over my inability to relax. He, like most Master's I suppose, loves that, just like a cat catching a mouse the look of satisfaction on his face is palpable. His use of me was different however; reminding me of my submission to him. He use was thorough. It's sole purpose was remind me that I do belong to him. I remain albeit his well tended property, I am his property nonetheless--his slave. I'm not neglected but manicured. He clearly sees me like a garden, which much be tended in order to thrive.

After his use I was unusually submissive...I mean, I'm always submissive. However after he used me for hours, in that commanding way of his...I felt more submissive. He guided me to his car, opened the door and we left to meet our friends for dinner. He places no restrictions on my wardrobe, so I dressed casually in crapris and sandals. However he picked out the top, a very low cut number I don't often wear. It is very light and comfortable, but the cut tends to make me self-conscious. He wouldn't let me take a light sweater because he said it was warm enough in the and I shouldn't be cold. He was right.

I tend to suffer from plate envy whenever I eat out. I scan the menu and pick something I think sounds good and someone else will get something that looks better. Sometimes I can't decide because I'm afraid that I won't enjoy it as much as I think I will. It's a quirk. Omega sees this in me clearly and will make suggestions but he doesn't order for me the Alpha would. He merely suggests that I might enjoy the stuffed portabello with salad. I find myself deferring to his suggestions because frankly hardly ever wrong. Omega is a total gentleman in public as well, he always opens the door, and holds the chair out. When I stood to go to the bathroom with Lucy, he too stood. His effect on Schroeder was evident. Lucy thinks Omega is terribly romantic, and quizzed on the fact I call him Omega in public. I explained that he is the last man that will ever possess me. The carefully chosen words are acceptable in the BDSM world as well as the vanilla world. He calls me lady--mostly HIS lady. Not in a Jerry Lewis way, but in a very surreal and nice way. It does strike me as rather odd that we hardly ever speak each other's name since we I offered myself to him.

After dinner we went to the theater and found seats. Lucy and I were originally seated together, with Omega on my other side, and Schroeder beside her on the aisle. However that arrangement just didn't work as Schroeder and I have been Star Trek NUTS for decades. He grew tired of playing telephone with Lucy and asked to switch seats so he could bend my ear. Omega arched his eyebrow in a Spockish way seeing the switch.

Omega though not a Star Trek nut, enjoyed the movie very much as did Lucy, who could be described as a mild trekker. Schroeder is a trekkie and a serious collector of all things Star Trek. I'm probably closer to Schroeder without being such a zealot about it. Though there were plenty of titters from both of us. From our group ranging from those that don't care to those who care too much...the movie was thoroughly entertaining for all of us. I do understand when critics and bloggers alike have said that this movie has breathed new life into the franchise previously on life-support.

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Sunday, it was understood earlier in the week that Omega would be departing early for the coast to the sailboat his brother and he purchased and started restoring a couple years ago. He gets animated when he speaks of the boat. Omega explained that he'd be home late, and not wait up or hold dinner for him. They would eat on the way home. He was quiet though and commented that he'd rather stay here with me. I reminded him we have a lifetime of weekends ahead of us. Omega's eyes darkened and he didn't look at me when he said, "nothing lasts forever." He said that I of all people should understand that. I looked at him, and replied that some things do last for forever. He kissed me softly and just said, "as you wish."

I'm the only one that's allowed to be dark and brooding. He's supposed to be earthy and grounded. As much as I hate to admit it, I was worried about him all day. As if his words were prophetic. As if something terrible might happen to him.

I woke to find him with his arms surrounding me protectively and felt so safe I didn't want to get out of bed. In fact I stayed there until it was time to whisper into his ear. He took me with urgency and passion, much like the other night. We didn't care about the alarm, or being late, but instead lost in our moment. After I shared with him my fears of previous day. He smiled warmly and said I misunderstood his words. His largest fear is that he'll do something to lose my trust, because he reasoned that without trust there cannot be love. He said that should he ever fall back into his addiction I am to leave him and not look back. He said that I should know that I did nothing wrong and all the blame will fall onto him. He did assure me that he has no plans on returning to that place. He's been free for the most part of it, for 3 years now. Ever since he started therapy and meetings. He's regained control over his life and fully understands his triggers. I see the worst being behind him.

I don't like conversations like that, but I can see where it's important for him to have them.

Something fun to look forward to, the boat is officialy complete! Omega said that they didn't expect to finish it before next month so they're taking it out for the long weekend and wants me to come along. I'm hesitant to mention that I'm not much of a boat person. I get motion sickness, and I have this odd fear of open spaces. Omega assures me I'll be fine and that he'll take care of me.