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Thursday, October 21, 2010

TTWD: Objectification

Firstly, before mouse begins let's explain that normally when mouse writes she does it in the morning.  Occasionally, there's a topic that requires more thought or time, so mouse must ask permission to hold a post and work on it, which will be scheduled when it's finished.  This can cause some disjointed postings.  

It seems sometimes the whole idea of  the power exchange seems so odd.  Why would anyone want such total control over another person?  Why would they want all that responsibility?  That's a lot of work to maintain.  For example, Omega has a lot on his shoulders.  He's got to know about anatomy, physiology, a good deal of psychology, the feminine mindset, ropes, whips, electricity, all the mundane guy stuff like putting air into tires, repairing stuff around the house...

Seriously mouse could go on and on...everything is on his shoulders.  He encourages mouse to be more than she thought could ever be.  All the time.  In fact in the past, mouse has been accused of making Omega out to be more than any man could be.  Often the question would come he really that perfect?  And in the end...the answer is no, but he's perfectly suited for mouse.  Most people find him aloof, judgmental, harsh, abrupt  and somewhat rude.  The mouse sees beyond the flaws, beyond the harsh exterior, to the often gentle but completely unselfish man beneath it.  He's well aware of his flaws; to the point them out is rubbing salt in the wound.  

Which is why when someone asked a question on, she felt stymied.  

Does Omega do anything to lift your self confidence? Does he ever take the time to show you you are special and loved and treasured by him? Maybe I am missing the mark but he just seems to see you as property and doesn't really care much about your being.

Truly mouse found it distressing that someone could actually believe that Omega viewed her only as a possession or an object.  Yes, some objectification is part of our dynamic but mouse clearly knows that she's not property.  However she must also admit that being a possession, object or property of Omega's isn't such a bad thing either.  He takes great pains in making certain his possessions are properly cared for, because if he didn't...well, they wouldn't serve him well, would they?  And that's really the key, they must serve him well.

  • If he doesn't maintain his car, it would break down.
  • If he throws his phone down in a fit of rage, it will break.
  • If he doesn't properly launder or care for his suits they will prematurely wear out or not fit him.
  • If he doesn't maintain his stock portfolio, he would jeopardize his future. 
  • If he doesn't take care of his mattress, he will end up with lumps in his bed.
Now the last one is a bit of silliness but it's still true.   Are Omega and mouse equals?  Not exactly yes or no.  Omega leads and mouse follows, not equal per se, but part of the same mechanism, which functions as our lives.  

Is mouse an object?  

The short answer is yes.  The longer answer is still yes but with distinction.  Even an important piece of property like a house or car doesn't require cheerleading to get it to open a door or take on a new challenge.  While mouse doesn't require a lot of cheerleading either, there are times that Omega has to push mouse a little.  He will offer encouragement, guidance and lots of support.  He will let his own needs slide so that mouse can be more than she imagined.  And lastly, it's distressing to mouse and she feels she owes Omega a huge apology for not making this more clear in recent posts.  Certainly in the past she did and often would scream from the rooftops how wonderful Omega is, but maybe she hasn't recently.  

Omega has helped mouse become a whole individual.  One that does (at least most of the time) believe she is sexy, beautiful, and witty.  He brought out the endearing side of mouse and made her shirk the rough exterior and embrace all the time what she really is.  He patiently talked her through all of the abuse of the past she suffered, and in that process came full circle.  

As if that wasn't enough, another question came through...

I've been reading your blog for a long time and it's clear how much Omega cares for you despite that you are his property (or maybe because of it). Has there ever been a time when you felt he was acting in his own best interest instead of yours?

Yes there was a time, around this time last year in fact, a lot of what Omega was doing was to use our dynamic to keep mouse from asking questions she needed answered.  This continued until Omega spiraled out of control,  cumulating in a trip to rehab for his sexual addictions, and reconnecting with his own steps in the process.  He is healthier now than he was before, and he can see the difference.  This did lead to changes in our dynamic.  He's not allowed to use his position over mouse in that way and mouse isn't allowed to be placed in a codependent position which is equally unhealthy.  If you want to read more, you can find a post here which was written at that time when the wounds were still very raw.  

Thank you both for wonderful questions!  

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