Greetings from mouse,
The title of this post is a line from the Doors song 5 to 1. Now, that song was about the Vietnam war. Specifically, about the death rate of the soldiers. This post isn't about that.
When we merged our blogs, it was interesting and we actually learned things about ourselves. We learned mouse posts most of what she writes. For everything he writes, most are never published. Or, rather 1081 posts were added, but little more than 200 are available for general reading. While it might not be really five to one or one in five, you certainly get the idea.
He's written some really great stuff too. He writings are about the lifestyle and life. Some are funny, while others are touched with poignancy. Some are riddled with typos, as tho he's waiting for his secretary to fix them.
They all start the same way, him at the keyboard, pecking away with his two fingers. He types fast, and hits the keyboard hard, in a way that mouse calls angry typing. He's likely not angry tho. It just sounds that way. His body hunched over like an old-time newspaper editor, ready to scream out. The drink beside him, is his only personal tell. He's a creature of habit and his beverage choices always reflect that.
Once mouse asked why he didn't publish something, he simply shrugged saying it was unfinished or unimportant. He dismisses some as just being too personal. Some he just loses the thought and they sit there, mid-sentence or even mid-word, and he just forgets them there. Some are great, like a piece he wrote once on what RACK should really mean, which he said was far too controversial. He wants to be careful, his opinions are often viewed as facts to him -- he often must remind himself they are at the end of the day merely opinion, a lesson mouse could have learned. Anyway, too few are posted. Sometimes mouse can dare him into publishing, which is always funny.
The truth is, he's as complicated as mouse is. Maybe everyone is. Maybe more people are like him and less like mouse?
Most of the time, mouse writes a post, hits publish and doesn't think much else about it...well until the comments roll in, but that's another topic for another time.
22 comments:
i have heard writing things down help deal with feelings..writing letters to old lovers, or those who have hurt you and burning them.. that person never sees them but "you" got your feelings out .. and it is supposed to help.. I have done that to a degree.. typed up a detailed email never to send it.. but it makes one feel better.. maybe thats what your O is doing.. just getting it out of his head .. his soul.. so he feels better, lighter, like the weight of it has been lifted .. you probably know this and i am being silly telling you.. but writing this comment gets it out of my head and makes me feel better :) i do so love your writing and O's when we see it. have a wonderful day !
-sugar
Wonder if it has anything to do with introvert vs extrovert. Not sure. I am one of those who'd post a lot but probly drafted almost as many. Plus id go back edit and delete too. I admire those who can just post as they first meant and let it be.
Its funny im very protective of my blog, my Master set it up for me and very very rarely will he contribute, its my surrogate baby lol its my little place to vent or just to think out loud.
I wander perhaps if the reluctance to publish posts stems from being very self critical or concious of causing offence.
I know i am both of these, i have written posts and then have not published them because they just dont convey well what i wanted to get accross, i prefer to write about my thoughts and subjects i feel strongly about but then i worry about offending people or causing upset....when it shouldnt as that is never my intention....perhaps i just worry too much full stop.
now im rambling on....i do that as well!
best wishes
tori x
I've thought about blogging but to be honest, I think I'm way too boring. :) I do find I'm more open on the internet commenting than I am in real life with my friends and family...perhaps I'm afraid of their silent judgement??? Who knows. I appreciate how open you are especially since you live a lifestyle I truly wish I was able to. Reading your blog has become a part of my daily routine and whether it's a quick post about the weather and daily errands or the deeper relationship between you and Omega, I enjoy them. :)
Tonya
Hi Mouse, I do my posts like you do, write then publish them and don't check again till I answer comments. If I didn't do it that way I would probably edit everything out of existence.
I thought blogging would be hard for me but I really do find it helps me right now...being so new and all. Your posts are always so open and thought provoking, it's nice that you just write what you feel and let it go at that. I usually check for your updates as soon as I get to work every morning.
I think I've got maybe 4 unpublished entries, one or two of which are just a title, to remind me I wanted to say something about xy or z. If I can't figure out what I'm trying to say, I leave it be and go back, but it's all meant or planned to be generally available at some point.
I can understand not publishing, or being unsure, but those thoughts tend to be in notebooks for me, though that way is no better, as Master finds them forever later and then wants to talk about it, well after my thoughts, opinions, and intent on the subject have been lost.
I'd like to read more from his perspective, though, if your Omega decides to share, especially the thoughts on RACK.
"The truth is, he's as complicated as mouse is."
This is so interesting. You are obviously the protagonist of this blog, and we see almost everything through your eyes. We see Omega primarily in relation to you. So he is a kind of blank (I only mean that we don't know him very well, not in the intimate way we know you). It strikes me that when he does write, he is much more self-conscious about what he says. Whereas you seem a much more fluid writer--kind of stream of consciousness. But perhaps you are just as self-conscious a writer as Omega is; you just are able to create yourself as a character we all want to know more about.
I have an entire flash drive full of partially-written posts, many of which also stop mid-sentence.
Maybe should do a kind of Mad Lib matching game... You know, number each post, draw a number, and then one person starts with their #17, which is completed with the other person's #17!
....?
....?
I'll just take that dead air as a "No", shall I? ;-)
I usually write the post and then publish it. I have a couple that sit around, languishing, unpublished. Sometimes I forget what happened, forget I was writing, so can't finish, but don't want to erase what was already there... (a moment captured, you know?)
Sometimes I wonder what the reaction would be and I hold them.. and hold them... and hold them, until it's not really even relevant anymore.
I probably have 5 or 6 unpublished, out of ~150.
Sugar,
It's actually a good observation! Maybe some of what he does write is just a way for him to solidify a thought. Thanks for reading!!
Hugs,
mouse
K -- dunno, we're both actually kinda quiet in real life, not with each other, but with other people...
Thanks so much for the comment.
Hugs,
mouse
tori,
Excellent points, not sure why he leaves so many unpublished, but what you mentioned could very well, be part of his reasons.
Hugs,
mouse
We have 20 drafts unpublished (currently) out of our sum total of posts . . . at least one is a work in progress about race and the BDSM community (I'm either brave or stupid) . . . and one is a post of my own that I "withdrew" . . .
I used to be much more like Omega, especially when I was writing on paper. A good friend has notebooks of her writing saved from the 1990's that are among her most precious possessions . . . I don't think any of my writing on paper survives, as I never found it worthy to share, or it was unfinished.
If I had one wish for today . . . I wish Omega would share more of his writings . . .
Michael
Tonya thank you so much! There are many times that mouse has posted something and thought...oh gosh what will people think? If you should tho, think of starting a blog, please let mouse know! Even if it's vanilla, mouse would never leave a link to her blog :-)
Hugs,
mouse
Faerie,
Isn't is amazing sometimes when someone leaves a comment and you think...did i really say that?! But they touch on something interesting...
Hugs,
mouse
Dancingbares,
It's cathartic at times. Sometimes mouse will begin on one topic and the whole post will morph in an almost classically Freudian way into something completely different.
Hugs,
mouse
girl,
Really, mouse would love him to publish more of his thoughts! Will mention the RACK thoughts.
Hugs,
mouse
In doing this blog for a couple years, one thing that has really helped was to separate parts of our life from other parts. Yes, our lifestyle does bleed over into those other areas of our life and do at least somewhat become blog worthy. Yes, mouse does write more in a stream of conscious way.
Hugs,
mouse
Oooooooooh. Noooooooooo it's a wonderful idea! You get right on that...lmao
It's interesting why some posts go unpublished. Yes, most often when something goes unpublished it's because either mouse felt it was too personal, or more often, just lost interest in whatever mouse was trying to say.
Michael Sir,
Often mouse wonders how many are just unfinished...or maybe they're just unfinished in Omega's own mind. It's hard to broach controversial topics, so mouse really does try to shy away from those. But you just never know what will often stir up controversy or which post will touch people enough to comment...
One thing mouse does wish is that he would share more of his writings. Especially, since mouse went to all that trouble getting rid of the pink and girl'y font ;-)
Hugs,
mouse
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