During the month of May, we've been doing a twice daily spanking. Each morning and evening mouse presents herself to Daddy and he warms her bottom usually with his hand. This has had a profound effect on mouse -- much less argumentative and well, less sarcastic. Sure there are moments of sarcasm, but even those are different. It's hard to explain. During this time, honestly mouse has felt more mentally settled -- despite being more busy than ever it seems. It's as though part of mind quieted down and just let things be. There's not this manic feeling of rushing anymore. Or trying to multitask out everything and instead allowing herself to go from one thing to the next with ease and without distractions.
Daddy had decided that in order to test his theory, we would go few weeks without spanking in June and this has actually left mouse more than a bit edgy. One might think that after so many days of daily spankings mouse would welcome a respite, but no; it's actually something she kinda fears. Last night, before Daddy spanked mouse was trembling and unloaded to him all these jumbled thoughts at once.
Sometimes she truly feels sorry for Daddy. Readers receive the filtered version of most events, while Daddy gets the full tsunami of emotions and for him it must be overwhelming if it's not expected. There are times he thoroughly anticipates it. That night found mouse begging, no pleading with him not to end the experiment. Or not to continue with it? That's a matter of perspective mouse supposes. The point was that there was a lot of pleading to Daddy not to stop the daily spankings or limit them in any way.
The pleading was driven by this distinct panic almost at the thought of it ending. Is it dependency? Or does she just enjoy the feelings spanking daily creates?
Does the daily spanking ritual thwart bad behavior?
There are more questions than answers at this point. Daddy is taking the idea under advisement.
22 comments:
I feel the same way, mouse. We have always spanked daily, at least twice, wake-ups and bedtimes, and sometimes in between. When things interfere and we can't do that, I am anxious, and very unsettled. I love that feeling of closeness and connection that spankings brings to our relationship.
(((hugs)))
I miss spanking.
I find the sting of a spanking and marks stays with me as a reminder.
I am sure Omega will do the right thing for you.
Hug,
Joey
umm long comment advisory warning lol
I wander mouse if the fear of it stopping is borne from having it now as such a part of your daily routine and seeing it as a ritual, there is that level of dependency on the spankings because they have brought balance, so to have them stop upsets routine and perhaps the sense of structure they give you?
You know its like now im having to have a plug inserted everyday and i said in my blog that i really think i want to keep it as a ritual because even though its been just over a week i know see it as part of my routine, the feelings it provokes in me provide me with security.....and i thrive on structure, routine and consistencey, it keeps me grounded.
It as you said yourself in your comment to me it is "mostly about the mental feelings rather than the physical" so it seems to me that anything that is percieved to reinforce submission, bring about contentment etc..the mere idea of having that taken away could be understandably distressing.
Im pondering over the idea of does it thwart bad behaviour?, i want to say that should come from that need/wanting to be good, that there shouldnt need to be reinforcement. But the other part of me argues that it is routine, rituals, consistencey etc that are the foundations of creating the environment to maintain the level of behaviour the dominant prefers.
Then i think does it get to a point where it becomes the norm and therefore its original intention is lost and something else is sought and so on and so on.
x
I find myself so much more grounded when I've had a stress relief spanking. I don't know if every day would help, but "H" has mentioned that He thinks I need it. I'm curious to see what the result is. try not to be too edgy :(
(hugs)
-Emi
For me it just brings a sense of peace and being centered. It relieves stress and reminds me of my place. Those things always seem to keep me from bad behavior. I'm sure your Daddy will do what's best for you, him and the relationship.
hugs
bg
Shoot, i'm edgy for you. They are like mad scientists, no? :)
jade
jadescastle.wordpress.com
mouse,
Have you considered the why behind the spankings. As in why do you like them? When you receive a spanking in the morning and then in the evening what does it give you? Are you afraid that should the spankings stop on a regular schedule you will no longer experience that endorphin rush? Similar to an addict receiving her hit.
Or is it the physical and therefore emotional connection with Omega that you look forward to, that time for just you both and no one else? Is Omega's time wrapped up with work leaving you looking forward to those particular moments so that no matter what else happens in the day you know you will have that time with him?
I admit spankings are not something I have found myself desiring. Whether in play, arousal, maintenance or punishment, they tend to only anger me and not in a positive way so I do have a rather trying time understanding the anticipation and want. With that said I can still relate to wanting something and not having it end and for that I do hope you find solace soon and that should the spankings end you will find something else to fill you.
x
~cockdoll
Hmm, this has me thinking mouse. I keep coming back to this(daily spanking) and wondering if it would help settle me.
But I'm scared to ask and/or start. lol.
Still thinking.
For me daily spankings thwarted bad behavior, cleared my mind, and took away my anxiousness. I really am a mess without them.
-H
I think you are very lucky, Mouse, to find such a wonderful Daddy. I have wanted something similar for years, but either I'm uncontrollable or just haven't found the right Master. Reading your blog always brings me comfort that I may find someone, some day.
xo, Paradoxy.
It is odd how that works isn't it June?
Glad you understand!
Hugs,
mouse
aww (((kitty)))
Thanks Joey!
Hugs
Totally agree especially the last part -- about how the original intent is lost somewhat...
Really think it's replaced with some great intimacy and love -- and becomes an expression of our dynamic.
Hugs,
mouse
That is true Emi and can't be ignored.
Don't know tho if daily spankings are for everyone. For some it (like us) it seems to work out nicely, but mouse has heard from some where it became a chore.
Hugs,
mouse
Love those feelings! Thanks BG
Sometimes Jade they are!
You gave mouse a lot to chew on...
Never a bad thing...but you prompted a second post on this topic....
Hugs
Awww ((((MG))))
Thanks H, it's kinda the same for mouse
Thanks paradoxy and welcome to TPE blog.
Hugs,
mouse
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