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Wednesday, October 23, 2013

Selfishness

We exchanged a few text messages yesterday. They were sweet, but with purpose, a warning of sorts that the next several weeks would find him a bit busy with work. Not sure if he plans it, to give mouse a little bad news by text so he doesn't have to see her look hurt or pout. By the time he gets home from work, mouse will resolve to support him.

It's hard when he stretches himself so thinly.

Lately there's been a more pressing issue for us. It's wrapped around 5 hours or less of sleep at night. We can't function well and we've been a bit more snappish with each other. We apologize, but it's been hard. We love the routine we have, but it's just not working -- there isn't enough hours in the day.

It's complicated because we don't want to give up morning sex, or exercising and showering together. Or the corset. Really mouse loves coming downstairs in the morning fully dressed and ready for the day. Lately she's been asking him more often if she can't push something off. Then last week, when we slept in so late, it was odd to be chasing the day and yet feeling so rested. Something must change, but we're selfish and love how this time together is forcing us to connect more. It's intimate.

When he came home from work, we talked about what to do, or maybe rather what he's decided we will do. Daddy hasn't any answers yet, he loves our time together but short of going to bed at 8pm its just not possible to continue this pace. It's just a shame, a sad shame any of it must stop. As if nailing it down, Daddy fell asleep as he pondered over what course we'll take next.

Still, whatever he decides is fine with mouse. He'll work it out to a solution that makes sense for us.

12 comments:

tori said...

It is difficult, this sounds like us last week, he was working long hours, starting really early, and falling asleep pretty much after dinner and i guess i was feeling neglected, maybe resentful that we wasnt getting any us time.

I was tired from staying up late, and just not getting enough sleep...he has re-instated a bedtime for me....cant be made to sleep, but to just wind down, read..no tv or ipad...im not happy about that!

Not arguing but nit-picking, me making snide comments like "maybe i should book an appointment with your secretary for you to fit me in"....not helpful and i hate that i get like that.

By the time we got to the weekend, all he wanted to do was stay home and relax, i wanted to go out and do something...i sulked, he made threats, i pushed him to carry them out...just a mess.

I think it is just life though, sometimes its more hectic than usual and its bound to have an impact, and you have to deal with it the best you can, finding a soloution that makes it easier.....still working on that..coz this week isnt much better!

x

mouse said...

We've both been snappy with each other lately, which is totally unusual. If work does get busier, then it'll get worse with us...yanno?

Already mouse has pushed off several things that she should have done earlier this week...and she's running out of week to do them.

Plus the punishment tomorrow is looming...

All mouse does know is that trusts him to fix this...

Hugs,
mouse

Anonymous said...

We are sort of in this same boat. I feel ya. My "H" has been working some nights until 8pm or later. Dinner is left in the fridge, and I go on with whatever the kids need done and we don't have much time together. I run on about 3 to 4 hours of sleep from the babies anyways, but neither of us wants to go to bed by 8 either, so we stay up to talk and have just an hour if that sometimes. O_o
Hopefully things get sorted out soon! It's wonderful to have him to trust in.

tori said...

Is it worse do you think, having that set day for punishment, because there is time to dwell on it, to know when its going to happen? i would be getting worked up, so hugs.

can you do anything to take points off the total?.....im asking coz thats the first thing i would ask....probably be a no but i would have to know, no harm in trying!

It will settle, but you know that.

x

DelFonte said...

Sometimes when 24 hours doesn't work we go for a 48 approach. Sleep is so important to our wellbeing. A night of intimacy is followed by one of sleep. Hope the solution comes soon.

mouse said...

Honestly mouse doesn't know. At the moment it doesn't feel too badly, tho mouse will surely develop some serious butterflies by tomorrow. And yes, it'll settle hopefully. Asked him, naturally about working off demerits, he said no, it would be self-defeating.


And no, he didn't elaborate further.

Hugs,
mouse

mouse said...

That's the hard part, we both really need more sleep (barring of course issues we can't avoid -- but we really, really enjoy all this extra time we're spending together. We're connecting on new levels that are really nice.

This is one time, mouse is happy to hand the decision to him. Because of course, mouse would lose the corset, shower time, and skip the exercise. Lol. Don't think that would make him very happy.

Hugs,
mouse

mouse said...

Thanks for your comment -- not sure at all what he'll do. Your idea sounds pretty good.

Yes we both really need more sleep, it's catching up with us both.

Hugs,
mouse

Misty said...

If only we didn't have to sleep, but since that's not an option I hope he can figure out how to make it work without loosing that morning time together. Maybe if you cut out exercising for a little while, after all sex is great exercise ;)

Vesta said...

Time is such a vexing issue. I've written endlessly (and laboriously) about disliking having not enough time for connection and pleasure. Lately, we've been choosing a new cafe and park each Saturday or Sunday morning for breakfast and that's been terrific. It's our time together (with the dog) and we're finding new parts of the city to enjoy. The other morning of the weekend is for playtime. Last week, we both happened to be awake really early on a week day and made love. It was just lovely but by the afternoon I was looking for a nap. Some days, I wonder if I didn't do a little ritual of mine it would save time but that's erroneous thinking because I feel titchy without that 'bimbo' time. Needless to say, I don't have the answer but a lack of sleep probably isn't something that is sustainable. Although, I push that too...

c said...

I know the feeling, we've been overworked since the baby came (uhm... she turned four this August...). And also the snappishness - sleep is necessary, as is rest. I hope you figure it out!

We went to bed at nine for a couple of years, eight is a little early though, I can see that. :-)

Anonymous said...

I have known to be a lot more than sheepish when I didn't get enought sleep. So, I use my weekends to turn off the alarm and sleep until I wake up. :)