Making Choices

Many years ago, mouse made a conscious decision to be a slave to Daddy a couple years after that, Daddy always looked for ways to toss mouse off balance. To shake up the complacency she would often feel. It was three years ago where mouse wrote this post. Truthfully it didn't last very long but she would be less than honest if she didn't admit the idea made her hot.

The loss of control is something mouse finds very hot, at least in theory, in practice however...well, if she's very honest with herself, she finds it just as hot. It's almost sad. Being under Daddy's control makes mouse almost instantly wet. There are times when we just simply go without. There's always his control and it's often omnipresent, yet at the same time mouse will become quite complacent. Maybe it's just going with the flow? We just both go through our motions. Life gets busy, so do we. His control starts feeling like an old pair of blue jeans. Well-worn, broken in and very comfortable.

It seems we're incredibly well suited, since he likes to control varying aspects of his life. If he can take control he will. This doesn't mean he doesn't allow for others to make mistakes. Errors are just as important for learning. His style of dominance can seem downright oppressive to some, and yes sometimes even for mouse.

Yet, for the most part mouse does truly gets a mental lift from Daddy's control. It often amazes mouse how he'll just know when mouse needs a kick. We returned to maintenance for this very reason, he knows between now and the holiday break, he's going to be busy. Daddy won't have time for a lot of mouse angst shenanigans and the maintenance levels her out, helping her to better focus. While mouse does more or less handle the social end of our lives, she discusses everything with him. He insists on hearing three reasons why we should and shouldn't attend something. Of course what he's really doing is asking mouse her opinion and thoughts. He does take what she says to heart. Sometimes office politics however, unknown to mouse, gets in the way with her plans and Daddy says no to one party in favor of another one mouse has zero interest in.

Of course mouse isn't all privy to all the inner workings of his mind, but she knows and understands he's got his reasons. It's frustrating at times for mouse. Still, in those times mouse feels her slavery to him the strongest. There's a little part of her that is tickled when he expresses it. It excites her on this weird level. Just like when he comes home from work after a long day, and mouse kneels before him to remove his shoes and put his slippers on his feet. It makes her excited and her mind often vacates to that bubble of submission.

This is why mouse often why mouse sometimes becomes stuck, mentally when people who often haven't a clue about a power exchange dynamic make assumptions about it. That somehow it's oppressive and damaging to womanhood -- that mouse is simply a doormat. Funny, mouse doesn't see herself that way at all. We're equal but different. There are parts of mouse Daddy would never ever try control or even change. They don't interest him the way the other parts do.