Feeling completely blessed this morning as mouse reflects on a recent conversation with a good friend. While mouse cannot be completely certain the real reason, it seems that some couples never really learn how to be intimate with each other. Yes, mouse is talking about the act of sex. Or maybe the art of love-making? Normally mouse backs away from intimate discussions with friends about their (or mouse's) sex life (odd since mouse has a blog in which the very subject often includes her intimate time with Daddy).
It seems this friend loves her husband deeply, but the idea of sex with him is more of a duty than something she enjoys. Now at this point mouse was bracing herself for the confession that the friend had taken a lover or something. No, she hasn't and has, from what mouse gleaned, no intention of doing that. Apparently, her husband has a back injury, coupled with other issues that just made sex impossible for him. But it seems their issues began long before this. So, when this happened, she gladly gave up sex! They haven't had sex in nearly a decade! The friend even remarked that her bullet vibe was nicer!
Daddy and mouse have often joked about what will happen when we're too old to screw -- but really that's a long way off for us! But we also enjoy the act of sex too. Really mouse doesn't need to be tied up or overpowered by him to enjoy being with him or feeling him inside her. Also, we're not afraid of talking about what we like and don't like. Lots of things come into play with it too.
Sometimes mouse loves it when he takes his time and hits all the right spots -- but those right spots...well, they change. Other times due to other thoughts rambling through mouse's head -- he'll never hit the right spot! It's just a giant miss. Those are the times when mouse hates it when he takes his time. Equally odd tho, he can start to switch the gears around and suddenly when mouse was counting times the ceiling fan rotates, she becomes lost in a sea pleasure she wishes would never end.
It's true, there are times it's just for Daddy and his pleasure. But when you consider we have some sort of sex twice a day, most every day -- those times are less. Most times it's based on mutual pleasures, needs and desires.
This morning, as mouse woke Daddy with her mouth, he pulled mouse away, holding her close and slid his length between her legs. Feeling the safety of his weight over her, mouse felt his love. Overwhelmed by the thoughtts that mouse couldn't begin to string into words that made any sense, she wept as he moved inside her. The power of our climax lifted mouse to where she needed to be. Closing her eyes tightly, feeling salty tears run down her cheeks -- the love we take is equal to the love we make. (yes a different song).
To be sure there isn't a vibrator in the world that could give mouse that feeling and that's why this morning -- finally able to put these thoughts into a cognizant way, she feels so incredibley blessed!
Song Selection: Attics of My Life; J. Garcia, R. Hunter
24 comments:
If this was written a couple of years ago or longer my response would have been very different to what it is now.
Its taken the bossman (and myself) a lot of 'work' to get me to see sex in a positive light, its probably only in the last year or so that i have felt comfortable initiating sex.
I admit that given a choice between an s/m session or sex i will opt for the s/m everytime...and i suppose it could be said thats not healthy..i dont know...however we have sex more often than we engage in s/m.
I enjoy sex now, and gosh yes its definitley better than the best vibrator out there, its that level of intimacy, exploring one another, i love that i can completely lose any sense of inhibitations and embrace it...which was something i really struggled with.
x
I agree completely mouse. There is nothing like feeling the weight and physical presence of Daddy. I hope that my dying request is the feel him one last time. I can't imagine going an entire decade without a sexual encounter. We too connect daily if not more often, sometimes for his pleasure (which gives me pleasure) or for mine as well. We wouldn't want it any other way
Hugs
bg
I have a friend that was taught that sex is wrong. It is to be endured. It is only for the sake of getting pregnant, so no birth control is ever needed. She was a virgin bride (not sure why her and fiance didn't discuss this). Good thing her husband was patient because it took a long time in therapy for her to understand and accept that it's ok to want, like, enjoy, crave sex. What a huge diservice her mom did for her.
I couldn't imagine anything replacing my "H" - and no, no vibrator in the world is better then his weight and fullness inside me.
I am so thankful that I enjoy sex, and enjoy it often :) I have MANY friends, even a sister who wants nothing to do with it and sees it as a chore. I have often felt for them, if they only knew what it could DO for their marriage by having a healthy sex life. "H" has friend too who "talk" at work, about wives who are evasive and how long it's been since they've had sex - I don't ever want that to be MY "H" talking like that.
"H" is actually my second Husband, I was married very young and was left only a year after (and with a baby). I didn't care for sex with my first husband and never quite "got it" until I met my "H".
He was wonderful with me and brought back the sexual appetite I once had before.
I can't imagine our lives without and every time we are with one another I think to myself just how lucky I am!
Oh I'm sorry to make such a long post! it's nap time here and I've gotten my laptop back just this morning.
Take care mouse and Daddy - Thank you for letting us all in to your life.
For many years during our marriage things were very different, I would even say not right, in many areas including sex. It was something I shied away from and many times how I saw it could be described as a duty or something just for procreation.
By the time things were changing in our relationship and we were exploring sex differently is when we found that there were some physical/hormonal problems with Sir that made for many uncomfortable moments. It frustrated us both. I realized and began to understand just how much sexual intimacy matters in a relationship and the deep emotional bonding it creates and I really felt that the problems that had arisen had to be a bad joke of some kind.
After a great amount of research and learning, changes were made that helped the physical problems subside and things get better; and the more we incorporate a D/s or M/s dynamic into our relationship things have gotten even more so. Having gone through everything we have I need to feel Sir more now than ever. Even if it were only for his pleasure it no longer ever feels like a duty; I need and desire to please him sexually just as in every other way. I am thankful for how our lives have changed over the past two years, and I don’t want to ever take any part of our relationship for granted again.
You are really blessed mouse. And, I agree with you. Unfortunately, I also know people who no longer want that intimate connection.
For me, it is important and I want to continually bring something new to our sex lives.
Hug,
joey
I am so very new to TTWD and had very limited experience. But I have had lots of experience in the vanilla world!
I have never had a relationship in the vanilla world, where sex was discussed openly and honestly. When I was young I would be too embarrassed to even think about asking for something I wanted. For years I didn't particularly even like sex.
Last year I ended a long term relationship. It was very dysfunctional & co- dependant. For the last couple of years I felt like an it. I had absolutely no sexual desire at all! I couldn't care less if I had ever had sex again! I guess this is what happens when you lose all respect for your partner?!?
In January along came my Dom! Well, my sex drive came back with a vengece!!! All because he talked to me ... Stimulated my mind as well as my libido! I went from a dried up old it to a ducking nympho (pardon my potty mouth).
So yeah I think that the nature of the TTWD, keeps both partners attuned to each other & thus more intimate.
mouse,
i think your writing is so refreshingly honest. Plus, i love that you always have titles that make me want to applaud your craft as a writer. i can't trim my thoughts down enough to capture more than a word or phrase in my titles and they never seem right. Your titles are sometimes swoon worthy. :)
i have...an inability to "make love." i feel nothing about that. It is just a fact. i have intimacy in other ways but you remind me to make room in my mind to feel happy for people who enjoy slow love making.
hugs,
jade
http://jadescastle.wordpress.com
There is nothing sweeter than that feeling of love that is beyond any words of description, and so much more intense than we have ever felt in our lives. I do this often, too, mouse, sometimes just with my arms wrapped around his neck, my nose pressed under his jaw, and the warm scent of him filling my nose, I weep with the knowledge that I have been blessed with so much more than I deserve, and a love greater than I could ever conceive existed for me.
(((hugs)))
Hmmm Two times a day - I'm jealous :) In my last relationship, I would tell my ex not to f**ken touch me - I had zero interest in having sex with him. It's so different with C, I crave his touch (any touch, it doesn't have to be sexual)
mouse is indeed very blessed.
It's funny because a few years ago, mouse would have said the same thing as you tori!
But, have to admit, Babygirl and other distractions,have certainly forced us both to embrace the intimacy of everyday sex. Lol. Gosh that sounds terrible, like it's dull or boring. Because its not really.
But ya...when we can play....oh ya...it feels more intimate maybe because of vulnerability...
Hugs,
mouse
Oh that would be bliss. :)
Sarah -- yes it's a scary fact, many women are taught to ignore their urges (sometimes men too). It is completely a disservice to do that and still it's something that mouse can kinda relate to. Really had no clue that girls could masturbate until she was 20 or so. Sad huh? It wasn't discussed at all and back then mouse never thought much about it. Lol
Hugs,
mouse
Emi,
Yes totally get it. Alpha wasn't big on female pleasure at all (quite the opposite) and Daddy definitely wants mouse to enjoy making love. He was very patient.
It's a wonderful thing.
Hugs,
mouse
That is a huge difference! Being pleasing isn't a duty...it's a pleasure! Comparability and desire to change, to set aside fear or arrogance to learn are wonderful qualities.
Hugs,
mouse
Doesn't it just floor you when you hear that?
Hugs,
mouse
LK,
This lifestyle (gosh how mouse hates that term) or ttwd, does foster much trust and intimacy. It's really wonderful to feel that deep connection.
Hugs,
mouse
Oh jade, you made mouse blush!
Xxoo.
Hugs,
mouse
June!! Yes! Exactly!
Yes...non-sexual touching...connecting are so important too.
Hugs,
mouse
<3 ya H!!
My Sig O. and I didn't sleep together until we were married. We thought we'd discussed it, but the truth is, it's not something that two newbies can really figure out solely based on conversation. I had no idea how important that element of the relationship would be. Now, several years into it, we're facing the possibility that we're just not compatible in that way. We're compatible in every other way-- and click amazingly well-- but that spark just isn't and hasn't really been there. It's not really a sad thing-- but it is an eye opening one. It's so good to hear about people connecting on that level, both already in relationships or who find them later on. It's comforting-- everything happens for a reason and we all end up where we're supposed to be... some of us just take the scenic route to get there. :)
Welcome Annie!
You're right some do just take the scenic route. It takes a lot of communication, honesty and thick skinned.
The reason mouse adds the thick skin -- it's just easy to feel criticized or picked on. Maybe that's also what impedes sexual connection.
Hugs,
mouse
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